I don’t want to have a beer with the president.

I would presume, since no invitation has come forth from any of the four presidents who have served in my lifetime, that they don’t want to have a beer with me, either.

So can we cut out this ridiculous notion that a president must be “beer-worthy” in the same vein as Elaine from Seinfeld’s “sponge-worthy” metric for evaluating potential mates?

I don’t want a president who’s like me. If I did, I’d run for president.

I want someone who’s 10 times smarter than me. Who knows more about stuff than I do. Has sources of information that go beyond the handful of newspapers and periodicals that lend me perspective on the day’s events.

Just for fun, here’s a truncated list of people I’d like to have a beer with, but wouldn’t support for president:

• Tiger Woods

• Hillary Clinton

• Jon Stewart (though I could be convinced...)

• Maureen Dowd

• Homer Simpson

• Anthony Scalia (I’ve got a few nits to pick, but I suspect it’d be an interesting conversation)

• Simon Cowell

All of these people are interesting (if fictional). All play a role in public life. Some are opinionated. All seem like they’d be interesting to talk to for 20 minutes or so, even if they weren’t famous.

I’m looking for something more than “interesting” or “likable” when picking the leader of the free world (a rather presumptuous title, if you ask me, but I’ll use it nonetheless).

A person’s perspective, life story and interpersonal communication skills are all extremely important metrics for presidents — and the title of beer-worthy. Presidents also must understand opposing arguments, detach analysis from opinion and offer clear directives to subordinates (which would be everyone). I’ve never said to myself, “that person is a good delegator, maybe we should have a beer together.”

That’s what makes this presidential election so interesting.

For the first time in quite a while, the two guys running stack up fairly evenly. McCain, at least prior to opting for the politics of Grumpy Old Men, seemed like a cool guy. A maverick with a devil-may-care attitude who has withstood some of the harshest treatment POWs have ever known.

He tells bawdy jokes and drinks vodka. He has a temper, probably swears a lot.

And at least up until recently, didn’t shy away from a complex position on an important issue. (He’s losing me on the offshore drilling thing. Chalk it up to pre-presidential pandering.)

Then there’s Barack Obama. No one can argue his life story isn’t compelling. Parents from different continents come together in, of all places, Kansas to raise a son. The boy from modest Midwest means grows up to be editor of the Harvard Law Review, a community activist and arguably the most gifted orator ever to run for president (apologies to William Henry Harrison, whose inauguration speech actually killed him — he caught the flu from standing outside too long).

How about that? Two guys running for president that almost anyone, if the names were removed, would concede are pretty interesting. People who most Americans wouldn’t mind talking to ... at a cocktail party or bar ... while drinking a ... beer.

Uh-oh, now how are we going to decide who to vote for?

Managing Editor Eric DuVall’s column appears every Wednesday and Sunday. Contact him at 693-1000, ext. 112 or by e-mail to duvalle@gnnewspaper.com.