It’s a curious relationship we have with celebrities these days, what with social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook. Sure, most of us aren’t really “friends” with Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) or Sabres forward Derek Roy (@Roy9ner), but we now know what they had for breakfast, what they think about the latest blockbuster in theaters ... oh, and we know if they can’t spell worth a darn now, too.

Twitter, especially, has given us regular folks a direct line to the minds of those we hold aloft, those who can do little wrong: actors, musicians, sports stars and the like. For better or worse, I now know:

• Legendary Dallas Stars forward Mike Modano (@9modano) likes to talk about his butt ... a lot. I’m beginning to wonder if he has a deal with the folks over at Tucks because of numerous posts like this:

“ I know I’ve said it before but I got one word for you... ‘TUCK’!! Ahhh..”

Also, it’s a toss-up whether he’s posted more photos of himself in regular dress or simply in a Speedo. This from the highest-goal-scoring American hockey player, oh boy.

• Food Network chef Alton Brown (@altonbrown) can, at times, be a bitter guy. He recently went on a bit of a tirade about Food Network spinoff the Cooking Channel for cutting a minute out of each “Good Eats” episode to fit the time allotted.

“I shouldn’t be upset of course. I only poured my blood, sweat, love, and tears into that show for 13 years, not including culinary school,” he tweeted.

OK, I get it, you worked hard on the show and want it to air as is, but publicly complaining about the company you work for is a little tacky, don’t you think? I mean, we all saw how that worked out for Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen).

When I first started following Alton on Twitter, he only reposted negative tweet comments people made about him. I once tweeted about my disappointment in “getting to know him” through Twitter and he actually tweeted me back, saying “Don’t be sad,” and “Still, I remain true to my network, until of course the BBC calls me to fill the 12th Dr. slot.”

• Alton Brown likes Doctor Who, and because of that, I’ll forgive his occasional bad moods.

• Someone needs to teach Derek Roy about punctuation. Sure, in a 140-character post, space is at a premium, but it honestly took me a couple read-throughs to understand what the heck this gem meant:

“I never punched Tim Connolly in the face he’s a beauty I would never he got hurt doing the worm backstage at a charity event true story haha”

Take a breath, Derek.

It could be worse — he could have ended the tweet with “))))))))” a la Evgeni Malkin (@malkin71_).

Also, Derek,thanks, for a photo of women’s personal items in a bathroom at the golf course.

• Hockey players like to use the word “beauty” when talking about each other.

• Some celebrities go too far with self-promotion. I would think someone like Anne Rice (@AnneRiceAuthor), wouldn’t have the time or need to pimp out her latest book or promote her upcoming book signing.

•Some folks are flat-out examples of just everything that’s wrong with society. I’m looking at you @biznasty2point0 and @sn00ki.

Phoenix Coyotes’ Paul Bissonnette doesn’t seem to have a very high opinion of women when he says things like:

“lisa lampinelli is funny, but once again gender is my main concern. her chin hides her adams apple so we are ganna have to go to the judges.”

Apparently you have to look like one of the many half-naked women he posts Twitter-pics of in order to qualify as female.

I had taken to decrying the celebrity presence on social media after joining the Twitter world about a year ago. Knowing Alton Brown can be a little pouty makes it difficult for me to blindly love “Good Eats” these days. How can I take Anderson Cooper (@andersoncooper) seriously when his grammar and spelling skills are so spotty on his Twitter account? Anne Rice, be cool, man, be cool!

The illusion is broken! My favorite celebrities are not the perfect, stoic, classy people I had built them up to be! (OK, so I never built Snooki up to be anything other than how she so gracefully portrays herself on “Jersey Shore.”)

But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it’s good I know that Anne Rice and Mike Modano have flaws, just like I do. Let’s face it, they weren’t flawless before the invention of Twitter, it’s just that I now know it.

And while I don’t encourage folks to sign their kids up for Twitter — exposing them to the likes of BizNasty is never a good idea — it’s probably best the young ‘uns also know the celebrities they look up to are just like you and me. Butt issues and all.

Contact features editor Danielle Haynes at 693-1000, ext. 6114.