North Tonawanda, NY — I got home from work, picked up my Tonawanda News and saw it. That curmudgeonly Art “Happy” Klein was at it again.

This time, he got into Dick Lucinski for supposedly denying global warming. I didn’t see Lucinski’s column. “Happy” seems anything but. Slats Grobnik wasn’t around so I decided to go searching for my old friend Henry Posluszny. He wasn’t at the Dockside. I checked the Clover Club and Crossroads before finding him at East Avenue, sipping a draft in the shadow of vintage Iroquois beer lights that were probably young when Lenny was.

“What the heck do you want?” he asked. “I’m not even going to talk to you.”

“Why the harsh greeting?” I replied. “Sheesh. Can’t a guy stop for a beer.”

“Last time you did that at the Dockside and we talked, I ended up all over the newspaper. I can’t have people knowin’ I pay attention to all this stuff.”

“Well jeez,” I said. “I didn’t realize anyone would recognize you. I also never expected Hap Klein would respond to me with a letter to the editor. I see he ripped Lucinski tonight.”

“You know how those guys get,” Hank said. “Just do me a favor. Don’t put me in the paper again.”

“I’ll try not to,” I said, “ but I’m low on column topics for this week. What do you make of this whole deal with Collins and Keane in Erie County.”

I was baiting him — I figured if I went Democrat on Hank, he’d argue for Collins. It was kind of a twisted game of reverse psychology, but it worked.

“I thought Keane was my man because he’s got the unions’ back” Hank said. “Then I saw Jimmy Griffin supported Collins. I just worry if too many guys like Collins start getting in power next thing you know they’ll reduce the union workforce. Then they’ll expect public employees to be paid on a level with regular working stiffs. We can’t have that. How can a guy in Western New York ever expect to make a living if he can’t work for the government?”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Keane served the public honorably. Don’t hold it against him just because he never participated in the capitalistic side of society or got paid by someone besides the taxpayers. Government isn’t a business. It exists to provide services. That’s where Collins has it wrong.”

“You’re sick,” Hank said.

“Look at how Erie County government expanded in Keane’s time with Gorski. Spending went up. They hired more people. This is all wrong.”

“Yeah, but we went and got the next best thing — Joel Giambra and look what a joke that turned out to be. He nearly bankrupted our county and burned through the entire tobacco settlement and a $200 million surplus,” I replied.

Hank came back at me.

“If Gorski was so great and Keane is his logical heir, then where the heck is Gorski?” Hank asked. “How come he hasn’t endorsed anyone. Why the heck are you arguing for Keane anyway? I thought you supported Collins.”

“You got me,” I said. “I was putting you on this whole time. I still support Collins. It has very little to do with Keane. I’m tired of career politicians and people who have never struggled to make a living and raise a family in Western New York making decisions about how our government should run.”

“You piece of crap!” Hank shouted at me. “How dare you bait me. I’m going to kick your sorry short ...”

I ducked as he raised his beer glass, ready to throw it.

“Hank, I’m sorry,” I said. “I just had to get you to talk because it’s too hard to get anyone to engage in civil dialogue and I wanted to see how it felt to argue from the other side. Let me buy you a beer.”

“Now it’s stranger than fiction,” he said. “You buying me a beer. Just don’t write about it in the paper.”

“I’ll try not to,” I said.

Word of the week: Duplicitous — the practice of contradictory thoughts or speech with the intention to deceive.

LM Boyd of the Week: The land of 10,000 lakes — Wisconsin — actually has 12,034 lakes.

Contact Joe Genco

at jgenco@localnet.com