GENCO: Someone has to argue ‘Authority’ with Hank

jgenco@localnet.com

It had been a few months since I stopped for a beer in the Tonawandas, and I figured Taggarts was as good a place as any for a quick pop.

I bellied up to the bar and ordered a Molson when suddenly I heard that familiar hack — Henry Posluszny, who has been smoking Camel cigarettes for too many years, stepped out of the bathroom and headed back to his corner stool.

I thought I’d be anonymous — I hadn’t seen him since before the election last November when I baited him into thinking I was against Chris Collins and he lost his temper.

“Well look who the cat dragged in now,” he said. “I thought they told you to stay out of this part of town. You were wrong again last week, and the one before that. It doesn’t surprise me because you supported that Republican Collins. You always get it wrong.”

“Nice to see you, too, Hank, but jeez. I was right about Collins and it’s been more than a month. He hasn’t goofed anything up yet. He even got Lynn Marinelli on his side.”

“So what. It’s too soon. Give it some time,” Posluszny said. “Six Sigma. Minister of Space Utilization. Anybody that smart should be writing for Dilbert cartoons or network comedies. Don’t play me the fool like you did last time we talked or we’re going to brawl.”

“I won’t, but what did I write most recently that offended you?” I asked.

“Don’t get me started. Then again, now you did. Start with that column about authorities a few weeks ago. What are you thinking?

“The Peace Bridge Authority would have built a bridge by now if they let them have a pretty one like they wanted. Their lawsuit has nothing to do with anything other than the fact they didn’t get their way. They are such elitist crybabies they make Andrew Rudnick look middle class.”

“Come on, Hank,” I replied. “The PBA should have known that no matter what it did, they needed to have all the environmental stuff bulletproof because anyone against anything can stop it in this state. That’s the sheer arrogance of having an authority staffed with political hacks instead of qualified citizens.”

“Well you might have a point, but give me a break about the Grand Island Bridges. The people who live their don’t care about the tolls. They get a discount. My buddy even tells me they worked hard to keep stores like Wal-Mart and Family Dollar off the Island because they attract riff-raff and the snobs who live there prefer to think of it as a gated community. Besides: If you don’t like it go around.”

“You know what, Hank, I do. It takes five minutes and I like driving along River Road better anyway. I can’t wait until the bike path opens and Barbara Tucker asks me for my autograph.”

“That’s another thing,” Hank said. “You insulted the Power Authority. We got a good deal for Western New York and we don’t use all the cheap power we get now, so what’s the difference? At least we got something.

“You want to really talk about something? Take a look at the Chevy plant in Tonawanda. Everybody in this town who buys a foreign car is a jerk, whether it was assembled in the U.S. or not, because they just scrapped a $300 million project at the Chevy plant due to lack of sales, keeping two hundred people out of work.”

“Ah come on Hank,” I said. “Do you realize $2,500 of the price of every new Chevy goes to pay health insurance for retirees? Give me a break.”

“So what are we supposed to do? Forget about the working people who built those cars so we can send money to Korea and Japan? Think about the big picture.”

“I do,” I said, “and the big picture says two beers is all I should have before I drive my Chevy Colorado home.”

“Well at least you got some of your priorities straight,” he said.

Then we shook hands and I headed home to my family.

Word of the Week: Calumny – A false statement maliciously made to injure someone.

LM Boyd of the Week: Crows live 80 years.

Contact Joe Genco at jgenco@localnet.com